So often, I hear people say that ‘life is too short’ as a motivation to strive for their dreams and accomplishments, and to make each day count. Just as life can be filled with joy and beauty, it can also be filled with unpredictability, pain and chaos—and up to 100 years on earth is plenty of time to be here in my opinion (if we are fortunate enough to be healthy, of course). So this quote has never fully resonated with me. But what has resonated with me over the years is simply this—

“You’ve only got one life to live, so do what makes you happy.”

And who was the wise woman that spoke these words? You’ve probably guessed right if you’ve been reading along with my life. My Mom. And these are words she lived by every single day. With a free and bold spirit that would have continued to touch the lives around her for an entire lifetime, she didn’t get the chance for it to extend beyond the age of 63, when she passed from Cancer. She spent her remaining days still focused on others, as she continued to knit caps and slippers for other Cancer patients. The hospital staff told us how she would often make them laugh, and that her fighting spirit was inspirational to those who surrounded her. Every moment that she spend up until her last breath, she spent doing the things she loved, with those she loved the most—her family, children and grandkids.

At the age of 30, she was divorced with two little babies to raise on her own as a single Mother, and I must say she did a damn good job. She never remarried after my Dad—not because the opportunities didn’t present themselves with dating or relationships—but because she never wanted anyone to tell her what to do, how to live her life, and how to raise her kids—that was for her to decide. So she made both herself and her children, her number one priorities—that is what made her happy. Along with discovering her love for the arts—knitting, quilting, and sewing—that was her passion right alongside laughing and making other people smile. She always spoke her mind and stuck up for herself, and though other people’s words would sometimes hurt her—they never broke down her spirit.

There is so much that I miss about her every day—but her encouragement and words of wisdom, which have driven me since I was a little one—is something that I now have to find within myself, and accept from others that try to give it. Everyone should be encouraged to make the right decision when it comes to the tough ones we need to make, to follow their dreams, and find their own happiness. Because I truly feel like her spirit lives so much more strongly within me now more than ever, I wanted to share some of my favorite little Nancy-isms with you, and some of my thoughts on them, incase you are in need of a little nudge, too.

“Shit or get off the pot…”

Yes, this was one of her most common sayings, and I would say my top favorite! If I had a dollar for every time she said that, I would be pretty damn rich. And no, she wasn’t talking about weed, she was talking about the toilet. Just as it frustrated her when people continue to bitch and moan about something they aren’t happy about that is actually not difficult to resolve, it frustrates me, too. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But seriously, it’s the best simple advice ever—if you keep saying you need to do something and don’t do it, then how and the hell can you expect anything to change and be different—and be better? Shit. Or get off the pot, already.

“Something’s just not right in Denmark…”

This spinoff actually comes from Shakespeare, used to describe corruption or a situation when something is wrong. I didn’t know this until after she passed away when I researched it, which made me laugh when I wondered if she knew that’s where it came from. Wherever she picked it up, she used it often! She always told me this when I was dating someone that wasn’t treating me properly—not returning phone calls, texts, or just not treating her daughter the way she deserved to be treated. She also used this if there was something that seemed off about a friendship or work situation. Because I never wanted to see the truth of what she was seeing on the outside looking in, my response was always, “Oh, Mom”, with my usual daughter sigh I did when she said something I didn’t want to hear. Today though, she would be laughing at me, because I tell people this all the time. But I add the “As my Mom always said,” in front of it. Gotta give her the credit, and you know what—she was always right. Always. Right.

“Follow your heart” and “Do whatever makes you happy…”

Both of these are also where the “we’ve only got one life” comes into play. Forget what others want you to do, what they want for you, and what they think is best for you and ask yourself—what is it that YOU want? What would make YOU happy? I’ve learned that you also have to follow your head, too. If it was all about happiness and we had no consequences, then we’d all be jobless and cheating on our significant others—neither aligning on the path of sublime fulfillment—for the long run, anyways. You can still research a backup plan for next career move and put in professional notice to your job, or get out of a currently relationship with dignity and respect. But for fuck sake, follow your heart and your gut—they are both trying to tell you something.

“You’ve gotta start somewhere…”

Mom always told me this when I had a goal that seemed way to overwhelming to ever accomplish. She would tell me to take things one day at a time, and that everything starts as a small seed. And the more you water it, it will continue to grow into something big. Nothing big happens over night, unless you happen to win the lottery. For the rest of us, it happens with research, planning, preparation and patience. I heard her say this in the back of my mind on the day I finally took the plunge and wrote my first blog post. I was scared shitless, but I did it. That’s more than others would have done it, and that’s all I needed to do, was start somewhere.

“It’s the little things in life…”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. It really is about the little things. It was the skeins of yarn that she found on sale that would inspire a knitted blanket to make someone’s day. A handful of hand-picked daisies would brighten even her darkest day. It was smiles, laughter, and simple kindness that she found joy in—and I often try to do the same. A new paint color for the living room renews my soul, and sitting at home with a good book or movie makes me just as happy as venturing out and about. A kind message, or a warm gesture to someone you love like a friend, or even a stranger, is so more rewarding than any big gift could ever attain.

So, those are just a few of her -isms—and as I wrap this post up, I am reminded of even more. Just as her memory will live on, her inspiration and love will continue to live on in my heart, and chirp in my ear, forever and ever. And as she has planted so many wonderful little seeds in my soul, I will continue the journey to find the life that bring me peace and happiness.

With All Her Love,
Nancy Lou Chamberlain