I can (barely) remember the time when creativity was fueled by nothing other than my passion to express myself. I can recall sketching and painting for hours, and days—creating something unique that was my very own piece of art— which was never intended to profit from or to express someone else’s vision. As a evolving artist, it was all mine, and the rest just didn’t matter. And I have to say, this is a feeling that I’m really missing these days.

After working for ten plus years in my field as a Graphic Designer, and doing what I do daily, I’ve been left feeling a little less excited and passionate, and lot more exhausted and frustrated. What used to fuel my soul just for myself, has drastically turned upside down into creating stuff for everyone else but me—visually communicating others’ ideas and concepts for collegues, bosses, and clients, and more times often than not, having rushed and restricted timeframes to work within.

It’s nothing against who I work for. That’s honestly just the way it goes in my field, regardless of who you are doing it for specifically. Of course your professors don’t tell you while you are in school that this will someday be the norm—they’d never tell you that in a decade, you and your design colleagues will be so burned out and most will begin moving into other roles, or professions completely, because they just can’t do it any more. It’s just something that you have to learn for yourself. In school you just think to yourself, “I want to do what I love do, and I love art, art is my passion, and creativity is supposed to be fun all the time, right?”

I still do love what I do, even though I am admitting some of the cons about this particular career path. I just feel little control in it, and miss creating art just for the sake of creating it to express myself. It’s all about balance, and I realize that the day-to-day grind of my job just isn’t going to fill the void that sketching and painting used to fill when it was on my own terms. I need to find other outlets for my creativity, to once again discover what it is like to draw, paint, or design something that is all mine—whatever it is that I want it to be. So I believe it’s finally time to get back to doing what used to make me happy, exploring art again, and to ignite my soul to push my limits and try something new.

I recently signed up for an e-course on how to create hand-lettering drawings. If you aren’t familiar with this, check out Made Vibrant and see if it isn’t something that you might want to try for yourself also as a little hobby. For me, it encompasses the best of both worlds (the pencil, and the computer), and I am hoping that this baby step will help get me excited again about the process of making art once again, and to set aside any worry of timelines or pleasing others—just whatever vision that is my own, and put it out into the world to be received.

Song of the Blog:
Express Yourself | The Watts 33rd Street Rhythm Band | circa 1970

(Note that the cover photo for this post is not artwork created by myself, incase you were wondering).