As the verge of a fresh, new year is upon us, while so many are getting ready for fancy schmancy plans out on the town, and others are spending quality time with their significant others and/or children, I find myself in the minority of so many others in my age group—sans hubs, kiddos or plans. But, the weird thing is, that in all honestly, anything other than spending the entire day in my pajamas and knitting leaves me completely uninterested and I’m very much okay being alone and not doing what everyone else is doing.
It’s crazy—years ago I would never had imagined celebrating New Years with a night in solo. Twenties-Kelly, and even beginning-Thirties Kelly, would get all dolled up to go out and sip down lots of martinis, hoping to meet the man that would be the next love of her life, or to at least makeout with at the stroke of midnight—neither of which ended up happening, btw.
At 32, after I moved outside of Columbus and was much further than a $10 cab ride to all the fun hot spots, I embraced “adulting” as I sat by the fire and drank a bottle of wine while marathoning Bridget Jones, in celebration of the unconventional thirty-something spinster lifestyle that we both seem to have in common.
After a couple of years of doing that routine, last year I binged on the in-trend Making of a Murderer and this year I have the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitd on auto-play as I write my blog, sip on a non-alcoholic beverage and snuggle up with my pets. I guarantee that I’ll happily be in bed well before midnight, and by the time some of you read this I will have missed the ball drop completely.
Though I don’t typically struggle with what to do on evenings like this anymore, I do sometimes struggle with not being the girl I used to be, or the one I thought I would be. I think when you’re younger, you have such high expectations and big plans for your life, even if you don’t know quite what those are yet. But when you get past the point that others seem to have all their plans in place, and you are still figuring things out, it makes you feel like you are a bit out of place, even if you are okay with the way things are. And by you, I mean me (of course).
I find that life, much like my former New Years night-out experiences, have been built up with crazy high expectations and pressure, and it’s easy to become quickly let down when things down work out the way you may have hoped or planned—so I just tend to avoid those things now.
I may be at home (and that may sound completely borning to some), but I find peace in knowing that I’m not out fighting a crowd for drinks, on the road with people that have been drinking and driving, spending lots of money on over-priced cocktails, or getting dressed up all fancy. It’s just so much work for one little evening of the year, and I’d rather be in my safe, little protected cacoon (there I admit it), where I won’t be disappointed.
If you are wondering what my plans are as far as making resolutions go, my motto is that if you want to do something bad enough, or make a change—any day of any year you want to go for it is the best time to start. Yes, tomorrow has motivated me to shave my legs for the first time in a long time, but that’s as far as I am taking it. No lists full of bullshit on this girl’s to-do.
I mean, from last year to this one, I went from driving the most uncomfortable car, driving 3 hours a day to commute to work, dealing with aches and pains in my arms and legs, conquering vertigo spells that would prevent me from getting out of bed on some days, not being certain of where I want to settle geographically, and being more depressed than not on a regular basis—to—driving something way better, getting a job locally that allows me more free time to put into my freelance design business, discovering how much I love swimming and water airobics which turned my ailments around 180 degrees, spending more time with my family and friends in a town that I don’t think I will ever leave again (unless it’s for a really great vacation), and to being content with who I am and where I’m at in life. With the exception of just a few tweaks I’d like to make, I’d say I’ve come pretty far, and my only hope for next year is that by the end of 2017 I can be closer to where I wanted to be than where I start tomorrow.
It all starts with one day at a time, and for me it starts with silky smooth legs. #babysteps #theunbreakablekellychamberlain
Song of the Blog:
One Step at a Time by Jordin Sparks | circa 2007
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